I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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