great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
