fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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