do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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