I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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