Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
