love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
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