They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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