i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
