i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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