She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
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