Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I think a kid would responsible me up
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
