i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
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