There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
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