Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I have aggressive nipples.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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