They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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