one two three fourrrrnication!
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
