oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
