My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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