Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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