dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Buhtt sex?
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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