She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
