I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
you never un-have a 4some
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Randomize
