her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
there was a trapeze. enough said
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
