my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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