He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
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Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
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U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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