didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
i am craving dick and cupcakes
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
