guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
