you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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