The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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