Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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