Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
