Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
