I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
