I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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