I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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