It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
how does that bad decision feel?
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