its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Randomize
