I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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