Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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