The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
