i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize