Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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