Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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