Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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