I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I need to calm my uterus...
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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