She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
