Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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