If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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