Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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