dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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