So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Randomize
