I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
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