I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Randomize