I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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