just tell him i said nine months
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Randomize
