you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
