she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
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