Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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