There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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