Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Randomize