you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
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