just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Randomize
