I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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