jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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