i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
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