Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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