She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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