I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
