I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
