What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Randomize
